Worry-Free Living

I recently read that the most highlighted verse in the online Kindle e-Bible is…are you ready for this? Here you go: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Ph 4:6)

The focus of that verse is usually placed on prayer as the antidote for worry. Certainly Paul encourages you to pray about about everything. However, there is more to worry-free living than just prayer. Lete me explain.

By isolating verse 6 and 7, I have been guilty of missing the fundamental reason behind such a ridiculous-pie-in-the-sky sounding statement such as “do not be anxious” or “Don’t worry about anything.”

Read the verse in context and see if you see what I mean. “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything…” Did you see it? Ancient commentators like John Chrysostom would read verse 5 and 6 as one verse, not two separate verses. So it would read “The Lord is near. Have no worries.”

And that my friends is the secret to worry-free living. Recognize the presence of the Lord. That’s right…the main reason we don’t have to worry is because the Lord is near. Now, if you are worried then talk with him about that.

So there you go. Enough said.

 

Walk on Water…Today

“Why do you worry?”

“Why are you so afraid?”

“Why did you doubt?”

Faith is a funny thing. Nearly everyone wants to live a life that is meaningful and filled with purpose. We live in a moral universe.  The moral choices a person makes are the primary human cause of events.  Worry, fear and doubt are examples of choices that every person faces.

Maybe you’ve noticed that one moment you seem to possess unstoppable faith while in the next moment you doubt, worry, or fear just like the men who followed Jesus the closest. [1] It is unrealistic to think that we will overcome worry, doubt, and fear once and for all. While it would be nice if we never contended with fear, worry, or doubt that is simply not the way the universe works. Just as light is best understood when compared to abject darkness so faith’s power can best be realized in the face of nagging worry, sinking doubt or hopeless fear.

“Oh, you of little faith,” Jesus yelled through the raging storm as he rescued Peter from the grasp of the Sea. In Peter’s time of need Jesus was name-calling. Seriously. He often referred to his disciples as “Ye of little faith.” But he wasn’t being disparaging so much as he was descriptive.

Amazingly, just a moment before Jesus called Peter “you of little faith,” he had been walking on water. He made the gutsy move to step out of a boat into the impossible. He had been walking on water, but not any more. Now he was sinking into the deep Sea of Galilee and he did the only thing he could…he called for Jesus to rescue him.

As Jesus reached out and grabbed onto Peter, it sounded strangely like he commented on his faith while simultaneously asking a deep theological and psychological question. Jesus said, “Oh you of little faith,” and then he asked, “Why did you doubt?” What? Was that really the best time to ask such a personal question? I might have asked Jesus, “Could we have this conversation…back in the boat… once my nerves calm down?” Apparently right up to the instant when the sinking thing happened Peter had been doing quite well, thank you very much.

Jesus asked Peter, “Why did you doubt?” So far as we know, Peter never answered Jesus. Have you ever noticed that? I really would like to know the answer because all to often I struggle with doubt. I believe, yet I doubt. Why is that? In fact, during other “Oh-you-of-little-faith-moments” Jesus liked to ask penetrating questions such as, “Why do you worry?” and  “Why are you so afraid?”

You likely have boat loads of answer to explain why you are afraid or worried. Before you settle into your explanation, consider this…

Faith is a powerful thing. It seems to me that the direction (the source) of your faith matters more than the amount of it. The “little faith” that focuses on the “wind and waves” of life results in doubt, fear or worry and is powerless and ineffective. That sort of faith often proceeds sinking…or at least that sinking feeling. On the other hand, “little mustard seed” faith directed toward God as its source is powerful and effective and precedes mountainous problems moving aside.

Faith works in the context of life. Ironically, sometimes applying faith in the context of the practical things of life can be most challenging for those of us who have had faith all of our lives. Why? Because we’ve focused more on faith in God that saves us but little on faith that sustains us. Go ahead. Step out of your boat of comfort and “walk on water.” Speak to the mountainous problem before you and walk forward…in faith. Today, believe. Today, trust God in everything. Try  faith. What do you have to lose?

“This is the victory which has overcome the world, even our faith.” (1 John 5:4)

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[1] Matthew 6:30 …will he not much more clothe you, oh you of little faith? Matthew 8:26 why are you (plural) so afraid? The storm…he calmed the storm Matthew 14:31 you of little faith…why did you doubt? Matthew 16:8 aware of their discussion he asked them, You of little faith, why are talking among yourselves about not having enough bread? Do you still not understand?

 

The Secret to Marriage

Dan and Emily Wieland Wedding Ceremony
Wisconsin (Dan Holland officiating)

Ask your friends what the secret of marriage is and the answers you get will likely be as varied as the individuals you ask.

Marriage advice ranges from the “sappy-are-you-serious-advice” to the “is-it-really-that-complicated-advice.” The longer I live the more I appreciate the simplicity of things. Think about it, what could be a bigger more complicated deal than pleasing God and yet Jesus simplified that for some religious zealots: “Love God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength. And, love your neighbor as you love yourself.” Simple, but pervasive.

Back to marriage…

Like you, I have heard a lot of secrets to marriage. Recently, I was hanging out with one couple, good friends, and we laughed as we discussed that the secret to their marriage might be the fact that she works out of town! It might be true that a better marriage results from being a part a little more. However, it was some other advice that I want to share with you.

While eating lunch with a guy, the subject of marriage came up. He told me that when people ask he and his wife what their secret is to marriage that he tells them that there is one thing. My thought was “Really? One thing? Do tell. I am all ears.”

He continued: “Whenever you hurt your wives feelings or she hurts you in some way, it doesn’t matter if you did or didn’t do what you are being accused of. It doesn’t matter if you actually said or didn’t say whatever.” Then he asked what I was thinking: “Why doesn’t it matter?” ”Why,” I asked. “Because,” he said, “you have hurt her/his feelings.”

He continued, “When you hurt your wife’s or husband’s feelings say these words: ‘I am so sorry. Will you please forgive me?’” And an appropriate response of the one offended is, “Yes. I forgive you.”

My friend did have a point. Think about a time when your feelings were hurt. Which type of response was most helpful to you: an explanation or an apology. Not that explanation are not needed because they are, but usually after a heartfelt apology. This works especially well when each is a Christian because they know what it means to forgive someone. To forgive means that we do not bring this up again. It is as though it never happened. It also works because an important piece of repentance means that we intend to change our ways. Did you catch that? We intend to modify our behavior. 

My friend then admitted that there have occasions when he has asked his wife for forgiveness and the answer is, “Not right now.” That’s can be an honest response. And its a healthy response. For sure, do not ignore what hurts and pains you have. Own them. Let God use your hurts to discipline you.

On the other hand stop carrying around the pain of what someone did to you in the past. In due time say: “Yes. I forgive you.”

This is certainly not the only secret to marriage. Jesus’ great command to his followers might fit here: “Do to others what you want others to do to you.” Simple, but pervasive.

 

Make Up Your Mind

Often choice presents itself as neatly packaged in a pair: Heaven or Hell; Success or Failure; Right or Left? Up or Down? White rice or Fried Rice? Paper or Plastic? Admittedly, it isn’t always that simple.

You face choices at every turn in life and they are not always obvious. What career path? Which opportunity? School? Studying? Friends? Work? Exercise? Food? Where to live? Money: how much to save or give or spend? Health decisions? You get the picture.

And, oh I almost forgot, last night we ate wings. The waitress asked, “How would you like your wings prepared?” “What are my options?” I asked. Pointing to a spot on the menu she said, “We have more then fifty choices.” Awesome. But we each had to choose. Some let others choose for them. I chose teriyaki, fried. The thing is this: whether I chose or let someone choose for me, I have to eat it.

Someone said that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. That may be, but consider that not choosing is not an option, as much as you may like for it to be. You do have to choose. To not choose is also a choice.  Once you choose you must walk the path chosen.

Elijah was dead on. “How long will you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.” (1Ki 18:21) Just make up your mind and walk that way. Decide who you will follow and get on with it. It sounds rather simple. Of course it rarely is. But sometimes it is.

Part of the human condition has always been a desire to have it all, to go from one thing to the next, to waver in allegiance. Yet in the process of wavering, allegiance becomes skewed and unclear. And maybe you’ve noticed that once a path is chosen and allegiances are formed that your mind goes to work to categorize reasons why you made the correct and best choice.

Yet ultimately you still must decide whom you will believe and follow. But whatever you do, know this: walking in the middle is unacceptable on so many levels.

Choose one path. One path only. If you try to follow every possible path you will end up following none. Biblically, throughout time, thousands have chosen the path of faith in God through Jesus Christ. I choose the big and narrow path of following Jesus Christ. Everything else is secondary. That one decision colors and shapes everything else in my life, if not always immediately, then eventually for sure.

I like this quote, maybe you will too, don’t know who said it: “To choose a path is to choose its destination. The traveler cannot grumble about the destination if he is responsible for choosing the path.”

Personally, today I choose the path and its destination: to believe God and Jesus Christ…to love my wife…to love my kids…to love my neighbor and friends (might be the same/might not)…to work with great intention in everything I do…to enjoy today for everything that the Lord will bring.

What about you? It really is kind of fun to have a choice. Go ahead. Every decision is not life or death. Some are, but most aren’t. Embrace your ability to choose. Choose to enjoy today.

 

Want to Make a Difference?

Live All Out

Know this: You don’t have to be beautiful or attractive or even talented to make a lasting difference in someone’s life or to live with incredible purpose. You just need a little drive, determination, single-mindedness, focus and resolve. What’s more is that, while it may be nice, you don’t have to be liked or accepted by others to have a positive impact; but you do have to like yourself. Where you are headed in life matters infinitely more than where you came from. In other words, how you live is more important than where you were born. Where you were born was yesterday. How you live is today; You only have today. Enjoy life…today.

In case you need proof of what I just wrote, check this out: “He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” Is 53:2-3

What was true for Jesus is true for every human being. Life flows from your heart and mind. Pay more attention to your heart and mind then everything external. I am not saying that you should make an effort to be ugly, or mean-spirited, or brash. I am saying that the most beautiful person with an ugly attitude is simply unattractive. I am saying that the most talented athlete with an ungrateful spirit is simply talented and no more.

It is just sometimes we are seduced into believing that being liked by someone, accepted by others, beautiful by comparison, or talented in a certain skill is what matters most of all. But those are all things that change and frankly over which we have very little control. As a result of this delusion, you may find yourself spending your emotion, money and time trying to impress people you don’t like (probably should love them…even though you may not like them).

Today, maybe the best advice is the advice that Jesus would give. Maybe you should determine that you will live all out. Love God with every fiber of your being; also, love your neighbor as you love yourself. Love God; Love your neighbor. That’s all. Forget the past; press on in the life God has given you. Run! Run! Run!

And as you run with purpose, notice how beautiful and loved you feel. You were created to run, to live fully, today. Find a way to engage and enjoy life today. You’re welcome.

 

Goals Of A Father

In my mind father’s are men who walk with their family through life. When my children were young I heard this excellent advice that has helped to guide me over the years. The moment I heard it I knew the guy was dead on. So, I wrote it down and carried it in my Franklin Planner so I could review it often. Overall, I had some successful, shining moments and, honestly, failed miserably at other times. But I could always find my way back by checking The Six Goals of a Father. Sadly I do not recall the man that gave the speech so I cannot give proper credit. Maybe you will find these goals helpful. Maybe you can improve on them. I hope they are helpful to you. Enjoy.

First, be the spiritual leader of your home. A spiritual leader is someone who helps another attain his or her spiritual goals. Pray for your wife and children. Attend church with the family…it matters more than you may imagine. Help each one discover their spiritual gifts and then help them find a way to express that gift to serve others.

Second, help your helpmate. Dads are commanded in scripture to teach their children. That is sobering considering that in today’s culture it seems that our wives are mostly the ones to train our children. There are two zones to pay attention to in the home. Zone one: education and academics. Zone two: home economics such as grocery shopping; see that she gets a break and time to step off of the treadmill of daily routine; and especially a break from childcare so that she can read, take a walk or maybe sew (you get the picture).

Third, fulfill your role as protector. First, protect your family legally. Second, protect your family from people who hassle your family. Third protect your wife’s time by monitoring phone, taking care of things you can take care of, etc.

Fourth, prepare child for a career: help them toward a career that will support a family. Teach initiative and living with excellence. Maybe point them toward a liberal arts study in college.

Fifth, prepare child for marriage. Teach them about romance in preparation for marriage as well as romance in marriage. Teach them to be both emotionally pure and sexually pure. Today our societal restraints have been removed. Teach your children to save their heart for the season of life when you’re ready to be married.

Sixth, prepare child for full exercise of rights of citizenship. Teach them by doing: vote, volunteer, and give money. Engage them in real life issues that matter. For example: Teach them how a bill becomes law. Teach them how a business works. Take them to learn how a bank functions. Let them be with you over lunch with interesting leaders from various walks of life.

 

Jesus on Taxes

Believe it or not, paying taxes was a major issue in the first century just as it is today. Caesar was their king and the taxes were paid to him. Along came the rabbi Jesus who spoke of ultimate allegiance to God. So in that context the question you are about to read makes sense.

Well, that and the fact that the religious leaders were trying to trap Jesus in his words and actions. “Teacher, we know you are a man of integrity. You aren’t swayed by men, because you pay no attention to who they are; but you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not? Should we pay or shouldn’t we?” (Mark 12:14-15)

The question is manipulative and the people are a bit sappy but the subject of taxes is one that we still deal with. Others were not so brave as to speak to Jesus directly. For example, “…the tax men came to Peter and asked, “Does your teacher pay taxes?” Peter said, “Of course.” (Mt 17:24–25).

In both cases Jesus showed consistency. Actually his answer is rather simple: “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.” (Mt 22:17, 21) Good advice from our heavenly King. Give your taxes to the government and your life to God.

Why do we pay taxes now? “This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.” (Romans 13:2-7) Do I think that government has gotten too large? Yes. Do I think that we are headed the wrong direction as a nation? Yes, I do.  Do I have strong convictions about how we might do some things better? Yes.

Having said that, I love living in America. I enjoy the benefits of freedom that we still have. I have a strong allegiance to the United States of America and am speechless in how to best express my gratitude for those who have shed their blood and given their life for my freedom. Yet, my ultimate allegiance is in God who created everything. I hope for things to turn around in America – though I believe that the public will not stand for such great pain and struggle. Yet my ultimate hope is Jesus Christ and his resurrection. I plan to follow him in resurrection.

Back to Jesus convictions about paying taxes. You may not have realized that one of the false accusations brought against Jesus was that he opposed paying taxes to Caesar. “Then the whole assembly rose and led him off to Pilate. And they began to accuse him, saying, “We have found this man subverting our nation. He opposes payment of taxes to Caesar and claims to be Christ, a king.” (Luke 23:1-2) It was a lie. But it helped to stoke the fire of public opinion against King Jesus. But he was proven right in the end. And in the end every knee, including those that falsely accused him, will bow their knee and declare him to be Lord. Period. That is good stuff.

To sum up a biblical view of paying taxes:

First, if you owe taxes, then pay taxes. (Romans 13:7)

Second, do all things without grumbling or disputing.” (Philippians 2:14) Sorry

Third, be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) You figure out how to be thankful as you pay taxes.

Enjoy today. Really!